The Stone Foxes’ van, which is affectionately called The White Whale, apparently agreed and wanted to stay. About a half hour into that morning’s drive to Santa Barbara for a noontime UCSB show, we’d pulled over for gas and the van decided to expel its coolant as soon as we stopped.

Yes, a burgeoning band with a broken down van is a rite of passage in rock and roll. However, with the tight schedule- a show at noon, another at 11p in Ojai, and another at 11a the next day at UC Cal Poly- we stood to possibly miss three shows in 24 hrs, completely killing any hope of breaking even on this trip. Plus the cost of repairs.

We bought a couple gallons of coolant, and guitarist Spence filled the radiator with water from a pump, checked for leaks, and found none. It had stopped. Maybe it was the water pump? If we waited for AAA, we’d surely miss the first show. If we could at least make it to UCSB, we’d have a few hours afterward to have the van checked out. We’d still be on time, so we tried again.

Flash forward to us predictably alongside the freeway next to a smoking, steaming van with its hood up. It didn’t need to be fixed, just not completely melted down before getting to Santa Barbara. We used the coolant. The van, like a rock star who had already had a gallon on whiskey, returned the fluid to the ground.

After waiting for it to cool for a few minutes in the mild ocean breeze, we managed some more miles. Used the second gallon of coolant and made it a bit farther before we had to pull over yet again. We could smell rubber burning. If we continued, we may melt belts or gaskets.

Guitarist/bassist Aaron found half of a snickers bar in the van (yes, you’d be surprised what turns up in there) and set it on the over-heated hood where it quickly melted into its scatological lookalike. I took that as confidence that regardless of our situation, we wouldn’t miss lunch.

I called the University and warned that even though we were merely minutes away, we were out of coolant and out of time and may not make it.

But then we found an old bottle of water in the back, which when added to the radiator, hotter than it had ever been, rocketed steam several feet above the line of the roof. Old faithful. Fuck off. But, it turned out to cool the engine just enough to get us to the show, 15 minutes late, but in one piece.

Now, the gear-heads out there may cringe at the way we were pushing this van. But these are musicians. They’d weep if they saw how you treated that acoustic guitar under the pile of clothes in your closet, the one with only five rusted strings and a broken tuning key.

In Storke Plaza at UCSB, during a new song tentatively titled “Patience,” Aaron sang “White Whale, I want to kick you in the face!” A few weeks ago that line had been “Jay Leno, I want to kick you in the face!” But that’s another story. Piss off The Stone Foxes and next time it’ll be you.

Aaron then proceeded to climb a tree during “Under the Gun,” so I suppose if he had fallen, we know whom he would name-check next show.

We then took the van to a shop, rented a Suburban for the next couple shows, and things seemed somewhat normal.

Aaron name-checked a broken down bathroom in the venue at the Ojai show, threatening to kick it in its face, as well. Daniel Ash, of Bauhaus and Love and Rockets fame, was our sound guy and DJ’d after our set. An honor.

At Cal Poly Aaron was sealed in under the stage by a stagehand who hadn’t seen him crawl through the skirt during a song. The guy had seen the curtain a little off and literally pinned it back together. I wonder if that, too, is considered a rite of passage.

By the way, that candy bar on the hood- it was still there after the tour, baked to a fine burnt crust.

I wonder what the mechanics had thought of that.

Rob Weldon(right)

Continue Reading